detained for 16hrs

I got detained at the Gatwick Airport, placed on the next flight back to Istanbul and forced to spend 16 hours in a detainment room. The experience was quite uncomfortable. Nevertheless I can not claim that I was not treated well. We had access to TV, free coffee and sandwiches. I was even allowed to bring a pen and take some notes! Here are some of the observations I jotted down while trying to beat the overwhelming boredom:

Basic needs of human beings have changed. A Canadian girl almost cried for not having access to her iPod.

They are not afraid of you. They are afraid of you acting against yourself. Hence the reason why the toilet locks were removed. Of course, this does not explain why the flush was not working!

What is the lowliest/cheapest food in the 21st century? It is the ultimate combo of plastic bagged potato chips and tuna sandwiches.

Fake politeness is instantly recognizable. This is especially true if you are kept inside a room that is designed to be resistant against unpredictable bursts of aggression. The guards were polite in a way that asked to be reciprocated. A perfectly fine expectation... Unfortunately I could not simply reciprocate kindness when the other side assumed right from the beginning that I have unlimited potential for crude violence. (e.g. The TV was put inside some sort of a bullet proof glass.)

Who was actually being detained? Us or them? These were the questions that recurrently popped up in my mind whenever I gazed at the window that the guards used to keep an eye on us. Our guards had sadly pathetic jobs. Their office was a lot more cramped than the room that we were being hold in. They did not have access to unlimited amounts of TV time nor unlimited number of sandwiches. The extremely cheap coffee provided by the nearby beverage dispenser helped them stay awake through the quite and eventless night during which they stared at computer screens and security monitors for endless hours. Yes, they were freer than us. But what kind of freedom was theirs? Being able to leave the office for five minutes or surf on-line are not essential traits of what I consider as freedom.

Private phone conversation? Forget it. Being allowed to use cellphones without built-in cameras was not any good news for the detainees who were under emotional stress and were in dire need of engaging in a private conversation with their close relatives. The room was small and we could not help but eavesdrop each others' conversations.

Bookphiles prefer formal complaint letters. That is why the "complaint box" was placed on top of the little library in the detainment room. I was tempted to make a written reminder for the broken flush. Then I realized that the box was probably put up for more serious inquires. The West African lady nearby me chose the more efficient method of simply shouting out her complaints and demanding her legal rights.

Blankets from space age. At night we were delivered glittery, silver coloured blankets. Folded, they could literally fit into one's pocket. Unfolded, they looked like large sheets of wrinkled aluminium folio. It was literally impossible to not wake anybody up while shifting your body position under these hygienic-but-noisy blankets. Of course the guards could not care less. They were only burdened with the task of providing a hygienic accommodation. Comfort did not matter at all. Detainees covered themselves with metal blankets, lied on metal benches, and dreamed about being on a metal spaceship.

Developed vs. Developing World People I thought we were treated pretty well. (Guards kept asking us whether we desired any coffee or tea. Imagine that happening in Turkey!) A French lady thought otherwise. She said she was shocked by the "incredibly inhumane" treatment. Rather than sitting still and waiting for the decision, she wanted to be immediately deported back to France: "I am never ever going to come to UK again!" Sorry but UK could not care less.

Are women more talkative than guys? Yes! A Canadian girl talked on the phone for literally five hours! I understand that she felt lonely and stressed out. But can five hours of continuous gibberish be really that relieving?

Good Cop/Bad Cop trick is still being employed in these circles. Come on guys! How can you expect this trick to still work? Everyone is acquainted with it about from crappy films and soap operas.

Would you like a statistical profile of those who end up in the detainment room? Just have a look at the different languages that the detainee information booklet has been translated into: Arabic, Farsi, Turkish, Hindi, Mandarin, Punjab, Pushto, Urdu. There was also a French translation aimed at potential readers coming from the "colonial", French-speaking African countries.

BBC. We had no access to the remote controller. Hence we could not watch anything but the BBC channel. In fact, we were not even allowed to turn off the TV. We were literally forced to listen to BBC Teletex while trying to sleep amidst the ambient noise created by our space-age blankets which slowly wrinkled into 11 dimensions.

Choice of pictures. There were various pictures of the natural world on our walls: Elephants tramping towards us, hawks flying over us... The message: "You are temporarily trapped inside these four walls. Try to enjoy the cheap metal and plastic furnitures. Stay calm and be reasonable. A lively world is waiting outside for you!" Unfortunately the contrast between the illusionary odour emitted by the poster lilies and the disgusting smell of our left-over sandwiches was just too sharp to loosen ourselves and let our imaginations be taken over.

Writing out your thoughts can reduce mental strain. I had always thought that this cliche was baseless. Well... Now I can confirm that it really works. It may work for you too! So get yourself a notebook and a pen!

In UK, everything is privatized. I am not going to pass judgement on this. UK Border Agency apparently outsourced its detainee treatment business to a private company! Our guards were employed by Group 4 Securicor.

"So you would like to convince me?" Interrogators are extremely sceptical of anything that comes out of your mouth. That is why they focus on your body moves. Only after they are convinced that you are speaking the truth will they start to really listen to you. Most of these guys are communication experts. So be careful with those feet!

No Visitors. This was quite inconvenient. My sister ended up waiting at the airport for hours. I was not given any information about how long the process would take. I had no idea about the likelihood of being deported neither. So I could not tell her to simply go back home.

Life is full of irony. While detained, I watched a BBC film in which a lawless gang of African-Americans heroically fought against the social order and the policemen who tried to protect it.

"Can somebody please turn off these bright lights?" Nope. They have to be kept on. Yes, even at night. If you have spent any time in UK, you have probably figured out that the highest authorities present on the street and in the buildings are security cameras. These cameras watch everybody including gangsters, burglars, pimps, maniacs, normal citizens and policemen. Their presence in the room protect each detainee against the illegal offences that could be committed by guards and other detainees. Lights have to be kept on because otherwise the cameras will not work.

Eyes vs Cameras. I had always had the feeling that security cameras were intrusive. While detained, I realized that being under the constant surveillance of a real pair of eyes was a lot more intrusive.

Aquarium. For some reason, the security cameras gave me the feeling that we were kept inside an aquarium. The fact that fresh air was periodically pumped into our room through a noisy and old air conditioning system reinforced that sensation.